A Small Death!

Many of us have suffered through the death of a loved one or family member, and have learned about the stages of grief through that experience. (For more information, click here for one source.)

Here is a quick summary of the stages:

1. Denial — The survivor imagines a false, preferable reality.
2. Anger — The individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at nearby individuals or those perceived as being involved. 
3. Bargaining — The third stage involves the individual making negotiations, whether internally or externally, to try to get a desired outcome.
4. Depression —During the fourth stage, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen, or have physical symptoms such as sleeplessness, stomach aches and headaches.
5. Acceptance — The individual embraces the inevitable future, as they perceive it, believing that nothing can or will change.

For a child, being removed from a parent is a form of loss. It may not be permanent (although an alienator and CPS will do their best to make it permanent), but the stages are no different.

CPS and parental alienators, either consciously or subconsciously, through planning or ignorance, take advantage of these stages in order to "prove" their case against the targeted parent.

Let's walk through each one.

1. Denial - Initially, a child will act as though everything is "business as usual" when they are dealing with being removed from a parent, or denied access to that parent. Children are usually very resilient and will perceive the situation as just a small problem. CPS uses this apparent "lack of caring" as "proof" that the child has been abused and is now "relieved" that they are no longer in the "abusive" environment. An alienator uses this stage as an opportunity to point out that the child really doesn't have feelings for the other parent and the denial of contact or change in custody should continue.
2. Anger - As time passes, and the child realizes that what has been forced on them isn't just a temporary problem, the child begins lashing out, especially at the targeted parent. Children are very instinctively intelligent, and realize that reacting against the people who have custody and care would result in punishment and repercussions. Instead, they respond with anger towards the targeted parent for several reasons - they are encouraged to do so by CPS or alienators, and because the child perceives that the targeted parent has failed to protect them and rescue them from the situation. Meanwhile, both CPS and alienators are able to strongly advance their case in court at this stage, by pointing out that the child "lashing out" at the target parent is further "proof" that the child was abused and should be kept from contact with that parent.
3. Bargaining - The next phase the child moves through is often known as "magical thinking". The child believes that if they do everything that is expected of them they will be able to get back to their parent. They usually do not express this outwardly, but instead become fully compliant with all expressed and unspoken wishes from CPS or the alienating parent. And once again, this is used as "documentation" and "proof", but now CPS and the alienating parent are able to present "documentation" for their case. The marked improvement (in behavior, attitude, grades, etc.) is now highlighted by CPS as being "proof" that the child was abused - confirming any false allegations that have been made. (This falls under the misuse of Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome, read more by clicking here.) The alienating parent uses the changed behavior as further "proof" that the child does not need or want contact with the target parent.
4. Depression - During the grieving process, the child will often exhibit symptoms of depression - sleeplessness, crying, headaches, stomach aches. These may occur concurrently with other phases. These symptoms are "welcomed" by both CPS and alienators - they are able to point to concrete "proof" that any relationship with the target parent is causing the child physical distress. Regardless of when the child exhibits the symptoms, they are used to indict the target parent. If the target parent is still being allowed contact with the child, the physical symptoms are used to "prove" that the child is distressed before a visit or after a visit (so they can cover all the bases, because it is always before or after a visit). If the target parent has no contact, CPS and the alienating parent use the symptoms as "proof" in a different way - they claim that the child is fearful that visits will resume.
5. Acceptance - Children actually know much more than they are given credit for. When, in their minds, the child believes that they will no longer be able to resume their relationship with the target parent, they become resigned to the situation. This is the point when CPS uses the situation to justify adopting the child out, and when the alienator justifies sole custody with no visitation.

The saddest part of all is that an abusive system (CPS and Family Court) and abusive parents (alienators) utilize a time when a child is grieving to further victimize and abuse the child and the family. Most sane and rational people are able to recognize the common sense of what is spelled out above, and realize that neither CPS nor alienating parents are doing what is in the best interests of children.

Stop the insanity! Stand up, speak out! Expose CPS!

Junk Science - The Myth of CSAAS

A second tool that CPS and the criminal courts will use in the prosecution of sexual offenders is a theory called "Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome" (CSAAS). It even has its own place in the "blueprint" for prosecution manuals that are available on the internet.

Developed by Roland Summit in 1983, the theory explains why a variety of things occur after a child has been sexually abused, and among them were delayed disclosure and the entire kitchen sink of acting out behaviors.

The key point is that the theory is ONLY valid if the child has actually been sexually abused.

Unfortunately, CPS and prosecutors have latched on to the theory as being a diagnostic tool, and claim that any demonstration of any of the listed behaviors can be used to PROVE that sexual abuse has occurred.

The pathological misues of his theory became so rampant that in 1993, Roland Summit published an article on "Abuse of the Child Sexual Abuse Accomodation Syndrome".

What is very enlightening is that in the Jon Massey Case, the county psychologist did NOT diagnose Ruby as having been sexually abused. Without a diagnosis of sexual abuse, any behaviors she exhibited could not be and should not have been attributed to CSAAS.

And that is a second major reason why the county's expert psychologist was not called to testify for the prosecution. Not only would have had to document the change in Ruby's testimony by a full year - a change that he would have to also report as being unreliably by his own testimony on July 8, 2013, he would also have had to report that he failed to diagnose Ruby with sexual abuse.

Instead, the prosecutor's office brought in a so-called "expert" who was used to imply by inference that all of Ruby's behaviors resulted from this non-existent sexual abuse. The credentials of this expert (MSW) were far lower than the county psychologist (PhD), so her testimony would not outweigh his. Additionally, this expert either was not provided with the psychologist's report or chose to ignore it when giving her report on CSAAS and how it related to the case.

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To give you a better perspective, a similar situation would be the following:

You walk into a room, begin coughing, complain about being chilled and achy, and your face is reddened and looks like you are running a fever.

Immediately every adult in the room pulls out a mask, gets on their cell phone, and demands that their primary care provider call in a prescription for Tamiflu, because of course you have the flu!

Better yet, they start reporting your symptoms to a doctor who, without ever doing any type of exam on you, getting a history, or speaking to you, diagnoses you with the flu.

But wait, it was snowing outside, with a fairly brisk wind, and your car was last in the driveway so you got to shovel. And it was that heavy, wet, sticky snow, so you got soaked through while shoveling. And the cold air gave you a tickle in your throat, so you needed a drink of water to settle it down after all that exertion.

If a doctor had diagnosed you with the flu, you would expect the response from the other adults. However, since you knew there was a different reason for the symptoms, you thought the adults were borderline hypochondriacs.
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This was the situation with Ruby in the Jon Massey Case. Her "acting out" behaviors had been present for years - long before Jon Massey renewed a relationship with her mother.

If the "symptoms" of CSAAS were used to diagnose sexual abuse in every instance when they occur, the parents and family members of at least 60% of all middle school students would either be sitting in jail or having their parental rights fast-tracked for termination by CPS.

It is time to speak out against systemic abuse and stop the use of discredited theories and junk science to persecute and abuse families.